Attraction is all about energy.
You are frustrated with dating right now because you keep attracting the wrong partners.
There is a large part of you that thinks this is happening because you aren’t enough in some way or even are too much in other ways.
Like you are some kind of ‘tough sell’.
For example: pretty enough, young enough, able-bodied enough, too successful, too serious or intimidating, <insert YOUR reason here>
I assure you, those things have very little to do with why you keep attracting the wrong partners.
You are constantly broadcasting who you are and what you want. So are other people.
Attraction happens when you pick up on a signal that you like. And hopefully the other person likes yours.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve sure been attracted to a guy who wouldn’t be considered ‘classically handsome’. Just as I’ve not been attracted to a guy that was.
That’s because there is far more to the energy of attraction than physical appearance.
Attraction: Your Unique Energy Broadcast
There are 3 main categories of things that go into making up your unique energy broadcast:
- Your current physiology (posture, energy level, emotional state, mental state)
- Tangibles: the physical things that you want in a partner. For example, physical looks, financial status, race, smell, kids/no kids. The things you can physically see/touch/do
- Intangibles: The things you can’t experience through your senses. For example: values, confidence, manners, how someone makes you feel, and beliefs.
Beliefs make up the largest part of the intangibles category because this is what drives your feelings and actions.
Beliefs, in this case, would be what you believe to be true right now about yourself, others, love and relationships.
Where Does The Law Of Attraction Fit In?
Law of Attraction 101 dictates that when you get all 3 of these categories in line with what it is you are trying to manifest, then you find what you are looking for and it happens quickly.
Of the 3 categories, it’s the intangible beliefs that are actually running the show.
Unfortunately it’s not just the ‘good’ beliefs, like ‘I deserve love’ or ‘I love myself’.
But mostly the shadow beliefs.
Shadow Beliefs
Shadow beliefs are usually not beliefs we are even aware of.
These are the things we believe that are NOT in alignment with our highest self.
For example, you can be positive, be a ‘nice person’, be deserving, clear on your values and what you want from a partner, but if you don’t believe there is someone out there that meets that criteria, then it’s either going to take a while for what you want to show up, or you will settle for what you find.
Or if you believe others to be untrustworthy (or you secretly don’t trust yourself), guess what? Yep, you are mostly going to find untrustworthy people.
If you don’t expect others to support you, it’s going to cancel out of your broadcast your desire to find someone that WILL support and include you.
Then someone who doesn’t want to support or include a partner fully will see what you are broadcasting and be all like ‘Perfect! I like her, she isn’t going to expect me to do something I don’t want to do!’
👉🏻Your shadow intangibles in your energy broadcast are what is doing the attracting for you.
PERIOD. FULL STOP.
There is NO OTHER REASON!
What To Do About It
You certainly can and should make tweaks to all 3 categories.
For example, work on your body language, or making eye contact, or a new dating strategy.
It will help, but it will only provide you with short term wins of having more options to choose from.
You need to be able to recognize the dream partner when it comes along.
When shadow intangibles are running the show, you likely will not.
This is when you say to yourself ‘Why can’t I find everything I want in the same package?’
Likely you have. You just couldn’t see it.
Long Term Wins
What’s going to give you the long term win is to dissect your energy broadcast and identify the shadow intangibles that are running the show for you.
Here’s How:
Start by making a list of what you feel is in each category.
For category 1, these things can fluctuate. Just write down how you USUALLY are. Note any improvements you could make here that would make you more appealing and available.
Then for category 2 and 3, take some time to get really clear on what it is you truly want in a partner. List it out.
If you’ve never done an official values assessment, DO IT. Here is a link to an article of mine that walks you through that process: https://jenyoungquist.com/define-values/
For your beliefs in category 3, write out EVERYTHING you believe about these things:
- Yourself
- Other people
- What is possible for you
- Love (including how lovable you think you are and how you feel about receiving love)
- Relationships
WARNING!
DON’T be all love and light here! Don’t just write down what you think you should believe.
Spiritually bypassing this isn’t going to help you.
I got news for ya, your vibration isn’t so high that you are immune to the influence of shadow beliefs. If you are still single and you don’t want to be, then you have shadows that are running the show.
They Are Called Shadows For A Reason…
You might find it hard to see your own shadows. That is common. You are too close to see them.
What might help you is to reflect back on your past relationships.
- What didn’t work?
- Was there a common theme?
- How did you feel when you were in those relationships?
- Is that a familiar feeling? Perhaps from childhood?
Once you have your shadow list, compare it to things that you say you want. If you find a match, scratch out the intangible match.
For example, if you say you want a supportive, inclusive partner but you have a shadow belief that you don’t expect that someone else will support you or include you, cross it off.
The Universe (nor anyone else) isn’t paying attention to what you say you want.
They are responding to the sum total of what’s left in your energy broadcast.
This awareness, my friends, is something you can work with.
Your situation is 100% in your own hands.
This is the first step that I help people do when I work with them one on one.
When you work with someone that has distance from your situation, they can help you see the things that you cannot. Which makes this work so much more thorough and meaningful.
Then I help you through the process of shifting those shadows and intentionally manifesting the partner of your dreams.
I’m offering FREE 60-min sessions to help people get started in figuring out their shadow intangibles that are mucking up their energy broadcast. All you have to do is pick a time. On the call we’ll identify as many of them as we can and I’ll give you tips on working to shift them.
Book your FREE call here:
