Well, maybe not everything!
But a very major part of dating, most people get wrong.
I did too, for a very long time.
Dating Beliefs Are ‘Handed Down’
Unfortunately, a lot of what you know about dating was handed down to you by family and friends.
These ‘inherited’ beliefs are a major part of what’s causing you so much heartache and distress over dating.
It’s a large part of why you fear you’ll never find ‘your person’ and fear you will be alone for the rest of your life.
What People Get Wrong About Dating
Today I want to talk about the thing that pretty much everyone gets wrong about dating.
And that is, you are dating ‘outside in’ instead of ‘inside out’.
I’ll use three of the top things that most people get wrong about dating to illustrate my point.
Most people think that:
Attraction is dependent on what you look like
Big NOPE on that one. Attraction is largely energetic.
You could find the sexiest date, but if you don’t align energetically, you won’t want to actually date them.
Think about it…has every person you were strongly attracted to been a Brad Pitt type?
I’m betting no.
But as women, it’s been forced upon us that only a certain aesthetic is able to attract attention.
And it’s complete BS.
That other people’s behavior toward you, especially when in relationship, means something about you
For example, if all your partners cheat on you, or lie to you.
Or if most of your partners turn out to be emotionally unavailable and won’t commit to you.
All of these things can make you feel like there is something wrong with YOU.
I remember when this was happening to me it certainly triggered in me feelings of not being good enough. And that is a sucky place to be in.
Fortunately, this belief is complete BS too.
First of all, anything anyone else says or does is NEVER because of you, it’s always because of their own filters. (If you haven’t read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, please do. He explains why this is so and it’s so freeing.)
Second, if you seem to be stuck in a pattern, again it’s energetic. Something you are believing/thinking is causing you to be attracted to these types – and them to you.
Clear that, and you break your pattern.
That there aren’t enough ‘good, quality’ partners available
I know this feels like truth to a lot of you, as it did to me years ago.
And it feels true because it has literally been your perceived experience.
I say ‘perceived’ because I bet if we were to take a look at your actual dating experience and at the people you have met, we’d see that there were some quality ones that you passed on because there was no spark.
In other words, you didn’t find them attractive for whatever reason you told yourself at the time.
What did I just say about attraction? That it is energetic.
Sooooo, therefore, you didn’t find these ones attractive because they didn’t match your internal energy dynamics at the time.
Remember, like attracts like.
It’s not a matter of there being no ‘good ones’’ available, it’s really a matter of whether or not your vibe matches theirs.
Change your vibe and you change this dynamic.
You’ll be surprised at how many good ones start popping out of the woodwork.
The Challenge: Create the internal dynamic that is in alignment with what you actually want
Every one of these examples was a demonstration about how we let other people and experiences determine what we think about dating and how we feel about ourselves.
The challenge is to shift your way of thinking and operate from an inside out perspective.
In every one of these examples, energy (aka your vibe) is what is really doing the attracting.
Your vibe is a product of what’s happening on the inside.
All of those beliefs you have about dating are exactly what are creating your experience. In other words, your internal dynamic is not currently a match for what you say you want.
Your outside experience is NEVER what is creating your reality.
Therefore, you have SO MUCH POWER to create the reality that you truly want; which is to find your awesome match.
It is my mission here on this planet to help women realize just how powerful they are and to help to use that power to attract the partner of their dreams.
If you are feeling quite powerless in the dating arena, please see below.
If you’ve been feeling like dating is futile, or hard, or painful, I want you to know, it DOESN’T HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY! Shifting what you believe about dating will change this for you so you can date with CONFIDENCE, CLARITY, and more EASE.
How do you do that? How do you even know if you’re believing something disempowering (especially when it feels so TRUE?) This is where finding support around this is super helpful.
I want to invite you to a FREE call with me. On the call I will help you disentangle the truth from the disempowering beliefs. Often it can be so healing just to gain this awareness.
Schedule your call here, I can’t wait to meet you!
