Why Dreams Remain Dreams
Are you someone who uses the words ‘some day’ when you think about the ideal romantic relationship you want?
Do you just daydream about this relationship or hold hope that it will happen for you one day but you don’t take any present day action to make it happen?
If so, I have some bad news. It’s never going to happen.
Not because this person doesn’t exist.
And not because you aren’t a catch (you are).
But because, without action, this relationship lives ONLY in the future.
It doesn’t live in the present.
Ways that you may be keeping your dream relationship in the future:
1.) You’re filling your present time with relationships with people who are not ready for the kind of partnership you want RIGHT NOW.
This is you if you hold onto those emotionally unavailable guys hoping they will suddenly wake up and see the value of the woman they have in front of them.
Or you knowingly enter into a relationship with someone who has a lot of personal healing to do. Such as with an alcoholic or substance abuser, someone who has current mental health struggles, anger issues, control issues, is abusive, still married or has major money struggles.
When you agree to a relationship with someone who isn’t ready for you NOW, you are effectively saying that you agree to WAIT for what you truly want.
You are also saying that you don’t believe that you can have what you truly want so you are going to settle for what you found (and hope that he will change to become what you want).
I’m going to be straight with you; THAT NEVER HAPPENS except in fairy tales and movies.
You are just wasting your (and his) time.
2. You don’t do anything to try to meet anyone
This includes being on dating apps and chatting with prospects but you never actually meet them.
Basically, you’re hiding.
I’m sure you have a million reasons why, but at the end of the day, if you don’t get out of your comfort zone and be visible, your dream relationship will never materialize.
The case for meeting new people, regardless of whether or not they are potential dates is because each new person you meet knows a bunch of other people.
That means the more people you meet, the chances grow that that they know someone they can introduce you to.
This is how I met my husband.
Some random woman who started talking to me at an event offered to make the connection.
So just get out and meet people and stop hiding!
3. You are very busy
You literally have no time for someone in your life right now.
You’re not making the space for someone in your life.
But you keep telling yourself that someday you’d like to slow down and find someone to grow old with.
If that’s the case, maybe a relationship isn’t a priority for you right now, and that’s ok.
But if it IS a priority and you continue to fill all your time and prioritize other things, then the relationship you want isn’t going to happen.
It’s literally a Universal Principle. A void needs to be filled. No void, nothing will fill it.
If you want it, you have to make room and you have to make it a priority.
These Things Changed My Life (So they can change yours too)
Look, I was a ‘someday’ person too. I wasn’t taking dating as seriously as I should have.
I was doing every one of the things I mentioned above.
And I kept settling for guys that weren’t ready for what I wanted and I would hold onto them.
When I was single, I hid. I didn’t take action to become more visible.
And I wasn’t really making finding the right partner a priority. I just took the path of least resistance and settled for what came along.
It wasn’t until I got very serious about finding what I wanted that I finally found him.
Quickly too! It was only about 3 months from the time I got very focused to the time I was introduced to my now husband.
Ladies, you don’t have to wait for someday! It can happen NOW.
Let go of the ‘someday’ thinking and declare what you want in present time. Then take aligned action to make it happen.
Hey, if you’d like to shift out of the ‘someday’ thinking and into NOW thinking, I can help. Likely, you’re simply hoping for the relationship of your dreams because you have some thoughts you are believing that are holding you back from taking the actions you need to in order to find him RIGHT NOW. So you keep him in ‘someday’ because that’s comfortable.
But in the meantime, you’re selling out or you’re hiding. All this is doing is wasting time. Time that could be spent actually sharing your life with the RIGHT partner. If you’re done wasting time, I want to invite you to apply for Dating Alchemy. It’s my private (1:1) coaching container where we’ll work together for 16 weeks to thoroughly dissect your dating pattern, shift what needs shifting, balance your energy and get out there taking aligned action to find your mate. Go here to apply: Dating Alchemy. After you fill out the application you’ll be taken to a page to schedule time with me to talk about it.
