Your body is your compass.
It tells you when something feels unsafe.
It tells you when something is uncomfortable (not WHY it’s uncomfortable, but just that there is discomfort).
It tells you how you are feeling in the moment.
It can tell you if you are making a ‘good’ choice or not.
It tells you if you have chemistry with someone…or not.
Is Your Compass Set to ‘True North’?
The problem is, if your compass is not calibrated to true north, then it’s OFF, possibly by a lot.
You see, the body’s original calibration happened between the ages of birth and 20.
It was calibrated to the ENERGY of your childhood, especially when it comes to love.
If your parents, especially Dad, was emotionally unavailable, unsafe, unpredictable, unsupportive and really never appreciated who you were at your core, then guess what?
That kind of energy is what your compass is going to tell you is RIGHT when you go out to find a mate.
It’s right because it’s FAMILIAR
To your body, familiar = RIGHT
Feelings of real love, support, vulnerability, openness, and anything other than surface level connection are going to feel uncomfortable if these are things you are not used to receiving.
What happens is when you experience any of these things (that you truly want), but aren’t used to having them, the discomfort in the body becomes a signal to you that there’s no chemistry, that this choice isn’t the right one.
THIS is why you keep dating jerks and emotionally unavailable men while saying NO to those that offer you what you say you want.
You Seriously Can’t Help It
You can stop beating yourself up over this, if you are. You literally CAN’T HELP IT.
Not until you become aware of it and work to recalibrate your internal compass.
Your internal compass is your body & brain working together to produce a feeling and the thoughts you have about it.
The Recalibration Process
To recalibrate the compass, you will need to replace the old programming with new.
Which isn’t always an easy thing to do, especially on your own.
Because it entails gaining awareness of the current programming.
Being willing to investigate and notice those old feelings in your body and under what circumstances they occur.
It entails becoming very present with yourself.
You’ll have to catch those old beliefs so you can start to release them for new, more helpful ones.
You’ll need to understand what real love, support and connection feels like in your body (which may be uncomfortable at first).
And you’ll need to practice those new feelings, over and over until THOSE ONES become your norm.
Oh, and you’ll also have to heal that part of you that still is trying to get Dad to give you what you’ve always wanted from him.
That last one is an important piece because it’s why he’s still able to trigger you (even though you know better).
Because when you don’t need that love and validation from Dad, you’ll stop seeking that validation from your romantic partners.
The spell will be broken.
And your internal compass will be re-calibrated toward true north – which is the actual love and connection you crave.
Ladies, I walk you through the first step of this in the workshop I did recently called ‘Stop Dating Jerks and Emotionally Unavailable Men (by Healing the Father Wound)’.
P.S. In case you are wondering just exactly what I do, this is it. Everything I detailed around how you recalibrate your internal compass is what I help people do. That work is SO much easier and faster when you have support. If you’re curious about what that might look like for you I’d love to walk you through that and answer all your questions. All you need to do is set up a call by clicking this link:https://link.moderncrm.org/widget/bookings/jeny-consultation
