My Mother used to use the old adage ‘you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince’ whenever I was down about a relationship not working out.
The adage isn’t untrue, really.
Most people you meet and date and definitely will not be right for you.
But because 3 of your old school classmates married their high school sweethearts, you expect it to happen just as quickly for you. (Maybe it’s just me?)
And it COULD! I’m definitely not saying that things shouldn’t happen quickly for you. It totally could.
What else could be going on?
However, if you’ve been at it for any length of time and you haven’t found what you’re looking for, that signals to me that there’s something else going on.
I’m going to help you diagnose if this is the case for you.
Let’s start by looking at why things worked so quickly for those 3 classmates of yours.
There are 2 main reasons people find their mate quickly and early:
Soul contract:
- They could have had some sort of soul contract where they agreed before incarnating that they would partner up and live this life together. Which if they are still together was the most likely case.
Matching beliefs/experiences – which lead to like attracting like (aka how dating actually works):
- They both could have matching insecurities that kept them from being curious about any other experiences.
- They both could have had the belief and expectation that that was how it was supposed to work – you meet, fall in love and get married as quickly as possible, no questions asked – so again, no curiosity or need for other experiences
- They both could have come from really stable homes with great parents and managed to come out of childhood without any major trauma
So, back to you!
I can’t speak to whether you have any soul-level contracts. But it’s clear you don’t have one that has you finding this person in your teens.
Could it be a different kind of contract? Like you both agree to wait for each other until the time is right?
Maybe, but not likely due to it’s highly unlikely your higher self would handcuff your love life and make you wait for someone.
That leaves the most likely: matching beliefs/experiences.
The only dating rule you need to know
The one energetic dating rule that stands the test of time is that we attract people into our lives that match our current beliefs and experiences.
(Just so ya know, same goes for money.)
It’s not just energetic. Our human brains are hardwired to look for what’s familiar. That’s just safety.
So if all those you meet and date turn out to be ‘frogs’, it’s time to take a look at WHY that keeps happening for you.
The reason is simple really, those experiences are trying to SHOW you something that needs to be healed and transformed.
Some examples are a fear, an insecurity, lacking a sense of safety, lack of boundaries, distrust, and limiting beliefs.
These things can be hard to spot on our own. If you don’t know, you don’t know, right?
Create awareness to understand the lessons
The best way to start to figure out what all of those failed relationships are trying to teach you is to write down:
- What you believe about love and relationships
- What you believe about yourself
- What you believe about other people
- What you believe to be possible/impossible in relationships
- What did each relationship have in common? (were you abused in some way, did they all have the same kinds of behaviors, was there an element of drama, to what level would they commit, how did you feel in the relationship, did the relationship drag on past its expiration date?)
Getting this stuff down is a great start to gaining some insight into what’s happening to you at an energetic level.
Pro tip: any of those beliefs you wrote down that make you feel bad, those are the ones that need to shift.
I’m very gifted in recognizing patterns. If you’d like some FREE help in nailing down what’s been keeping away the kind of love you’re looking for, then let’s chat! I offer free sessions that help you to understand why it’s taking you so long to find that soulmate partner. Use this button to book your call now:
