I’m actually grateful that dating apps weren’t a huge thing back when I was still in the dating pool.
I’m grateful because that means I had to get out of my introvert comfort zone and get out into the world.
In case you don’t know my story, I didn’t meet my husband directly.
I met someone who knew him and was willing to make an introduction.
It Can Be Easy
I met this lady at an event that I was attending alone. She walked up to me and started a conversation.
She invited ME to ride with her.
I didn’t have to DO anything but be open to it.
I did not even fathom that my having the courage to do something I wouldn’t normally do could have such PROFOUND results.
I know, for most of you it sounds risky, uncomfortable and maybe even draining.
It was for me too!
And ‘peopling’ can still be that way for me at times too.
It’s All In How You Think About It
I’ve noticed that dating and meeting people is way more uncomfortable and draining when I’m thinking about it in a certain way.
The thoughts that make it more draining, risky and uncomfortable to get out and meet people are the ones where I approach it hoping to GET something from someone.
Rather than just approaching it as a way to practice meeting someone new, to practice making authentic connections or perhaps just to see what happens and have fun.
That day I attended the event alone, I had no agenda other than just having a good time riding my bike. I wasn’t even looking to meet anyone.
Whenever you go into a situation with an agenda of wanting to get something, then your focus is on yourself.
When that happens, it has a way of constricting or limiting what COULD happen.
Because you likely won’t let anything happen that’s outside of your expectations.
Apps Would Be My Last Resort
If I found myself back in the dating pool right now, I’m going to be honest, a dating app is probably the last thing I would try.
What I would do instead is get out of my house and go do more things I find fun and do it alone so that I can meet new people.
Even if those new people don’t end up becoming friends, they may KNOW SOMEONE they can introduce you to.
This, in my opinion is one of the BEST ways to meet a quality quy.
People aren’t going to introduce you to someone they know is no good. That would make them look bad, wouldn’t it?
So, what’s one fun event you can attend, alone, that would be fun for you whether you met anyone or not?
If you read this and your thoughts turned to ‘no way!’, ‘This is scary!’, ‘I’m not good at this kind of stuff’, or ‘People never talk to me’, I want you to know that this is simply your brain trying to keep you safe and reacting to something new that it perceives as a threat. These are very, very natural things to think. These are things that I still think sometimes!
But, I’m here to tell you that the partner you dream of IS NOT IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE, or you would already have him. That means there is something uncomfortable you’re going to have to do in order to find him. That uncomfortable thing – is growth.
I guarantee you that pushing past this resistance and getting yourself out into the world and being more visible WILL break up this stale dating energy you got going on. And that will bring to you more of what you are looking for. I can help you do this! THIS is why you hire a coach – to help you IMPLEMENT the things you KNOW that will help you find your dream guy. Let’s talk so I can tell you how: https://link.moderncrm.org/widget/bookings/jeny-consultation
