You may feel like you are just unlucky or that having the kind of relationship you desire, with a partner that is a true partner in every sense of the word, is just not in the cards for you.
This is especially true for those of us near 40 and over that have been around the block so to speak.
A Pattern Is Clear
From this place of experience, you’ve begun to see a pattern.
And this pattern keeps reaffirming the belief you hold that dating is exhausting, that dating ‘isn’t for you’, and that what you want doesn’t exist.
That feels so incredibly hopeless and disempowering, and disappointing.
So much so that you stop really trying.
It feels much more empowering to think instead that being single is better. That you’d rather have your ‘freedom’ and space.
So you don’t put yourself out there.
Your expectations are low.
You might not even show up as your best self (or even your true self) whenever you DO find a date.
All of that just keeps you repeating variations of the same old tired pattern.
At least that was my experience.
What You Need To Know
This is what I want you to know as someone who is on the other side of this belief:
It’s a protection mechanism.
What exactly it’s protecting you from, that can vary by individual but it’s usually from some kind of pain or discomfort.
For me, holding this belief kept me from exploring the real reasons why I kept only finding the kind of people that made relationships seem like a chore.
If I believed that what I wanted was not out there or that relationships just weren’t for me, then I didn’t have to do anything to try to change that.
It kept me from having to put myself out there and be vulnerable.
Therefore, this belief kept me safe by keeping me in the old tired patterns.
It was the devil I knew.
It Affects Your Energy
Think about what this belief does to your energy.
It lowers your vibration like there is this dark cloud over you.
It makes you hide.
It makes you put up a wall around yourself.
You don’t show up as your best self.
Which is off-putting to the ones you really want.
And so very attractive to the emotionally unavailable ones – the cheaters, the players, the narcissists and other types of serial daters.
Real Empowerment Comes From Taking Different Action
There is definitely more to unpack underneath this unhelpful belief.
But what I want you to know is that you have so much more power to change this dating pattern than you might feel is possible right now.
You deserve to have the kind of relationship that you desire. But you have to believe it’s possible.
And you have to be willing to show up with different energy.
Rewire Those Unhelpful Beliefs
Changing the way you think and the actions you take can often be easier said than done.
If you want dating to be easier for you, you’ll need to unpack, examine and shift the unhelpful beliefs that are keeping you stuck dating people who make relationships hard.
One of the most powerful and empowering ways I help my clients is to support them to rewire unhelpful beliefs like the ones I mentioned here and others, so that you don’t have so many inner obstacles standing in the way of what you really want.
The rewiring process is one of my favorite tools because it allows us, in one session, to get to the heart of what’s been holding you back from having the deeply loving, supportive relationship that you desire.
We go deep, and it’s a technique that activates your neural pathways as well as your somatic wisdom.
My guess is that you’ll be pretty astounded at what comes through.
It would be my absolute honor to hold space for you in this way and support you to move forward in overcoming beliefs that you may not even realize you hold.
FYI, this rewiring technique will work for ANY negative thoughts you have that are keeping you from your goals. It doesn’t have to be limited only to this specific problem in this post.
Let’s get you on the right track to love.
For more information on how this process works and to book your session, click here.
