Why am I still single? It’s a fair question and I used to ask myself this all the time.
I could sit here and give you a list of 10 like everyone else does.
I know people like that shit but here is why it would be a waste of your time.
Every single one of those reasons that everyone likes to list off, ties back in some way to ONE underlying reason.
And that is…
…it’s your energy.
If that feels like a let down, don’t leave, there’s way more to it.
While it seems like a simple surface reason, there is actually many moving parts to this and when you can decode what those parts are for YOU, then you will have your clarity as why you are still single when you don’t want to be.
The Energy of Attraction Why am I still single
Humans are energy. We need to take in energy to survive.
We send out energy into the world through our thoughts, actions, intentions and prayers.
You are constantly broadcasting who you are and what you want. So are other people.
There is a lot of information in that broadcast signal. Some of it you are aware of. MUCH of it you are not.
It’s unfortunate, but it’s this part that you are unaware of that is doing the picking of your partners for you. More on that in a minute.
You see, attraction happens when you pick up on a signal that you like. And hopefully the other person likes yours.
The more your signal matches theirs, the stronger the attraction. This doesn’t have to be just sexual or romantic attraction. This is true for any kind of relationship.
Attraction: Your Unique Energy Broadcast
Before we go further, I want to give you a picture of the things that make up your unique energy broadcast.
There are 3 main categories:
- Your current physiology (posture, energy level, emotional state, mental state)
- Tangibles: the physical things that you want in a partner. For example, physical looks, financial status, race, smell, kids/no kids. The things you can physically see/touch/do
- Intangibles: The things you can’t experience through your senses. For example: values, confidence, manners, how someone makes you feel, and beliefs.
Beliefs make up the largest part of the intangibles category because this is what drives your feelings and actions.
Beliefs, in this case, would be what you believe to be true right now about yourself, others, love and relationships.
What’s Really Picking Your Partners?
Of the 3 categories, it’s the beliefs that are actually running the show.
Unfortunately it’s not just the ‘good’ beliefs, like ‘I deserve love’ or ‘I love myself’.
But mostly the shadow beliefs. This is that part that I talked about earlier as the part of your energy broadcast that you aren’t even aware of.
Why Am I Still Single? Because Shadow Beliefs
These are the things we believe that are NOT in alignment with our highest self.
These are the things that are standing in the way of what we say we want and HAVING what we want.
For example, you can be positive, be a ‘nice person’, be deserving, clear on your values and desire a supportive, inclusive partner that is attuned to you, but If you don’t expect other will actually support you or secretly believe that you don’t belong, it’s going to cancel out of your broadcast your desire to find someone that WILL support and include you.
This is what it looks like from the perspective of a potential partner, ‘I see she has great values, good self-esteem, is a sweetheart AND she doesn’t expect me to take care of her needs or let her into my life fully. I like her because I don’t want to do those things.’
Or if you believe others to be untrustworthy (or you secretly don’t trust yourself), guess what? Yep, you are mostly going to find untrustworthy people because you are broadcasting to the world ‘I don’t trust you and I expect you to betray me.’
👉🏻Your shadow beliefs in your energy broadcast are what is doing the attracting for you.
PERIOD. FULL STOP.
There is NO OTHER REASON that you keep finding the wrong kinds of people to date!
What To Do About It
You certainly can and should make tweaks to your physiology, your tangibles and intangibles.
For example, work on your body language, or making eye contact, or a new dating strategy.
It will help, but it will only provide you with short term wins of having more options to choose from.
However, you need to be able to recognize the dream partner when it comes along.
When shadow intangibles are running the show, you likely will not.
This is when you say to yourself ‘Why can’t I find everything I want in the same package?’
Likely you have. You just couldn’t see it.
Long Term Wins
What’s going to give you the long term win is to dissect your energy broadcast and identify the shadow beliefs that are creating the mismatch between what you say you want and what you get.
Not super easy to do alone. But if you want to try, you’ll want to follow the steps in this article Decode Your Energy To Find True Love.
