The first in a series of subtle signs that someone may not be ready for the kind of relationship you want
I’m going to be doing a series on specific relationship red flags to watch out for when you’re dating someone.
Now, these won’t be the super obvious ones – think outright abuse, anger issues and the like.
But more, subtle relationship red flags that a past version of me would have written off as ‘quirky’ or ‘harmless’. But they actually aren’t and are signs of disempowerment and areas where this person needs some healing.
Here’s the first one:
Someone who won’t take the lead on anything and always defers to you (or someone else) to make the decision, especially around dates, activities, and food.
Why it’s a problem:
Anyone who is afraid to make a decision and always expects you to take the lead and plan everything is very disempowered and too much in their feminine energy.
This applies for women too. Masculine and Feminine energies need balance, (in every human, not just men). Too much masculine and it starts to look like control, too much feminine and it looks like a servant.
There’s a reason they can’t take initiative or make a decision on their own and it involves fear of rejection/not being liked. They are afraid to turn you off and are therefore afraid to be authentic.
Likely this person also has issues with instituting and upholding boundaries as well.
What this person doesn’t realize is what a turn off inauthenticity really is. It is hard to get to know who someone really is when they can’t be theirself or allow theirself to have opinions, needs and desires.
This person needs to heal the rejection issues in order to recover their energy balance and be willing to risk being rejected in order to find their true match.
***Huge note here – This person needs to do this work on their own, this is NOT your responsibility.
What it means for you:
If you proceed, be aware that your attraction to this person will likely fizzle pretty quickly.
Beware of this and do not hang onto this person just because they are a ‘good person’ and maybe have other characteristics that you DO like.
Hanging onto the relationship past its expiration date out of some sense of duty or ‘should’, isn’t good for either of you.
Relationships work best when the energies of masculine and feminine are balanced.
If you keep attracting this type of person:
You may be out of balance yourself.
If you are a fiercely independent type who rarely if ever asks for help and prides theirself on ‘not needing’ anyone (especially if you are a woman), then you might be more prone to attracting disempowered types who are (unknowingly) looking for a balance to their own disempowered energy.
Nature will find the balance in some way. It’s best to try to balance your own energy rather than pulling in someone else to achieve that balance.
Takeaways here:
- Each person must balance their own internal energy or the relationship will experience an imbalance of power
- If you find yourself wanting to hold onto someone who exhibits this kind of disempowerment so that you can help them fix it – take it as a sign you have your own disempowerment issues to look at
P.S. Relationships are very energetic. Most people don’t understand this. If something isn’t working out in your relationships, there is an energetic cause.
If there is a certain pattern that keeps repeating your relationships or if you are currently dating and you aren’t sure if what is happening in the relationship is healthy, I’m offering coaching sessions on a donation basis, $25 minimum for 30 minutes, $50 minimum for 60 minutes. In these sessions we’ll deep dive into your relationship energetic. A pattern always emerges. Once we identify the pattern, I’ll give you some specific ways you can work with it to shift it. BTW – This is a real coaching call, not a sales consult.
Book your call here: https://link.moderncrm.org/widget/bookings/jeny-relationship-coaching
