Dating…ugh, right?
Does it seem like you are on a dating trial and error merry-go-round?
If so, read on for some tips on how to break that cycle and find ‘the one’.
Dating: Where Did The Time Go?
You been single a long time.⏳
Perhaps you’ve never been married!
Each time you give it a go, it doesn’t work out and you find you’ve wasted yet another year or so.📆
Sure, each time it gets a little better. You learn some things.
BUT IT KEEPS HAPPENING!
You probably are even starting to think this whole lasting, soulmate partner thing isn’t in the cards for you.
Most of your friends are married, your (much younger) cousins are married, hell by now, even your best friend’s KIDS are married.
It’s a terrible feeling! I been there!
My best friend’s twin daughters, who used to play with their Barbies outside our college classroom door while Mom was in class, BOTH got married before I did!
Talk about feeling left behind, forgotten, unwanted! Almost like I was being punished for something.
Dating: Are Your Best Years Behind You?
I felt like time was not my friend and my ‘best’ years were behind me.
And before long, I would be ‘too old’ to be wanted by any man of quality.
The worst part of it was I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it. That I just had to wait my turn for it to happen for me.
Ladies, if you are thinking some version of this, I want you to know that NONE of it is true.
There is NO SUCH THING as being ‘too old’.
No, it totally not true that all men want a younger woman.
And no, your best years don’t have to be ‘behind’ you.
Your age and your physical looks actually have very little to do with attraction, dating and the quality of partner that you find.
The Energy of Dating
Fortunately, I got tired of waiting and started looking for what I could do to get off of this relationship trial and error treadmill that was costing me good years of my life (and a lot of heartache too!).
What I discovered is that the whole relationship process is ENERGETIC.
I started studying energy, energy healing, and manifestation.
I learned about how humans transmit and receive energy and the things that go into the energetic broadcast that we send out.
Then I made a few small tweaks at first and that had a HUGE, though short-term impact.
Shake Up That Energy: Small Tweaks That Led To Big Gains
For the smaller, short-term tweaks, this is exactly what I did: (For more in depth info on each of these, check out this live video: https://www.facebook.com/100000894637210/videos/990206065249746/)
1 Became more aware of my body language and what I was communicating with it. Basically, stopped closing down my energy when I was out and about and made my body language more OPEN so that it looked like I was accessible (instead of wearing RBF all the time)
2. Was willing to get uncomfortable: I made that eye contact, initiated conversation, acknowledged glances of interest, smiled at strangers, do things I had never done before. Ladies – your next date is going to be outside of your comfort zone!
3. Pay attention: I became more present in my every day life. I noticed who was paying attention to me, I read body language, I listened to my own gut when I was out with someone and I paid just as much attention to what he wasn’t doing as what he was doing.
4. I connected deeply to my values, desires and how I wanted to FEEL when in relationship. Make that list. Review and revise it if you have already. It’s hard for any relationship to succeed if you don’t have the top few values in common. Getting in touch with this will help you clear up your muddy signal.
5. Practice vulnerability (with people you trust): Likely the reason you keep attracting the same types is that you share the same vulnerability comfort zone as they do. For more on this I did a whole FB live on this topic: https://www.facebook.com/100000894637210/videos/1046401806218245/
👉🏻Expanding your comfort with being vulnerable will have immediate effects on your energy broadcast.
6. Make time for it: If you aren’t directing time (energy) toward finding a partner, the Universe won’t either.
My Results
The results of just these simple things: I met the man who would become my husband just 3 months later.
Now that I met him, I had to recognize him and keep him!
That’s where the deeper inner work comes in.
That’s when I started to tackle the bigger things that I needed to not only shift in my energy broadcast, but help me recognize and hold onto the ‘good ones’.
Where Are The Fireworks?
When I first met my husband, let’s just say there weren’t the fireworks I was looking for.
I did not recognize him as who I was looking for.
I had some things in the way of that.
For example,
- I didn’t trust (or allow) another person to meet my needs.
- I did not expect to receive support from others
- I did not expect to immediately be welcomed into someone else’s life
- I was afraid to truly be vulnerable with someone for fear of betrayal
THESE are the things I had to work on in order to RECOGNIZE & KEEP the man that the Universe had so quickly brought to me.
Deeper Shifts Are Needed For Lasting Love
These are the steps I took to doing that work:
1 I had to recognize my blocks. I did that through taking a closer look at my triggers and patterns
2. Then I had to own and acknowledge them through self-compassion and possibly forgiveness
3. Examine them. This is where I connected all the dots and looked for the Truth
4. Then I integrated those things into my being so that they were no longer running the show for me. Full integration happens on a mental, emotional and spiritual level – eventually, if you keep doing the work.
There are always layers to doing this work.
Personally, I’m still working on expanding my vulnerability comfort zone.
But once you know how to do this work, you can apply it each time you recognize a block you have that is preventing you from the results you want to have.
You Can Do The Exact Things I Did
This is the work that I help strong, successful women who are no longer ok with letting more time slip by while they see others partner up around them.
In my program, Dating Alchemy, we walk through each of the steps I outlined above to root out what has been keeping them from finding the lasting love they desire.
